Becoming Useless

Does it seem to anyone else that humans are becoming useless? We used to roam the earth hunting and gathering. Seemed pretty worthy if you wanted to... oh, IDK, stay alive? Today we watch NFL Sunday on mega-screens while devouring wings at Hooters. 

Maybe not useless but sorta kinda more useless than before? I mean, take your basic penmanship, simple slanted, marks of wonder. Today Cursive is a foreign language elective. Even our love of books, those inky pages of typeset clues has largely been replaced by the eBook. Are we useless? I mean, who offers to carry your girlfriends’ Kindle?  What happened?  

In my opinion, Convenience, happened. Yes, Convenience is making humans useless. You laugh but is there any good reason for a blue panel van to deliver us dog food? 

Remember when mom skillfully cut our vegetables? What about now? Now the blue apron box arrives filled with pre-portioned, individually wrapped veggies complete with a picturebook instruction guide. Or Grub Hub contactlessly delivers (is that even a word?)  your Coc a van and bloody mary encased in styrofoam right to your door.

But, all that IS necessary if you consider that you’re much too busy arranging the sitcom on Netflix you’ll be watching at dinner. True we used to have to make conversation at dinner (whoa that was work) but it’s different now that humans have the attention span of a gnat. Useless. Pfuh.

Oh, and we can’t forget cubicles. Those sophisticated legos of the office. Or our ability to buy cars from vending machines or pay bills online with super-secret encryption via an app. Humans came up with those things. I think we can all agree, they’re useful, right?

Ah, but what happens if the electricity goes out? Or ...  a pandemic hits? Will those forgotten skills magically return? Probably not. So who will save us? Who will we turn to?

The Google, that’s who. As special snowflakes, we think we’re not useless cuz we have the internet. Who needs to think? Just take a look at all the things we humans have accomplished during the pandemic with the aid of the web. We have Balcony socials, Drive-In concerts, and MLB (sans fans) to entertain us. Not to mention the unending Zooming for school projects and world commerce. As the song says, It’s the REAL thing.

I suppose we could laugh at the critics pointing to our so-called progress. But really, who else can open the hatch of their Outback by magically waving their hand?

So are we becoming Useless? I think not. Well, not too much, or um, maybe a little, ok yes, humans are becoming useless. Oh geez. I’m gonna need a vente, soy, no whip caramel latte, please.